Thursday, 1 December 2016

BEST GIFT: "THE LENS OF LOVE"



What to me is the lens of Love: an eye for my dream family.

If there is something that surely initiates maturity, it’s Parenthood—when you have a kid(s) of your own, all these questions come rumbling at you—how will my child(ren) live; survive? Where will they stay and with whom? What influence? How will they turnout?. All these are very tough questions but the deal breaker is that they can’t be avoided, you have to gird you roins like a man and look for answers—at times these answers are very hard to find, in the event of frayed relationships,the binding force could be those children: Love is what stays in the midst of all that can go wrong, that’s the lens of Love.

When I sit down to write about love, my heart melts because I know it so well that love is the most important thing on earth. I was talking to a friend recently in a chit-chat and I remember eloquently signaling this, ‘if there is one thing I talk about with Authority, it is Love’—I have loved, been loved and suffered for love. I have wanted to give up on making compromises for love so many times but every time I am at the verge of surrendering, I am reminded that I would rather not give up on Love itself but believe in love again since it can always be found and nobody can live without love. Here, I am looking at the bigger picture of love. The intent for this article though is for frayed relationships and marriages. I want to begin with inference from one of the articles I wrote with utmost intent—a decade of love—like I am doing for this. I am fetching this for the start: “Yes, every war needs a strategy as CLARA says at the start of the movie: “There always seems to be something to fight for. But one thing has remained true of every war; behind the field of battle, someone has developed a strategy. I find myself amazed that of the many battles we engage in today—be it money, control or matters of the heart, very few know to fight the right way or understand who we are really fighting. To win every battle, you have got to have the right strategy and resources, because victories don’t come by accident”.

I may not have been married [though, at times it feels like it] but I can offer road-tested truths about the perils of human frailty in the realm of dating as well as marriage. The thing about life, I have learned from my personal experience, is that if you pay fidelity to growing through Life; there is so many things you will learn even before you are ‘old’—wisdom in this case has a life blood link to learning, unlearning and relearning. When it comes to love, self-realization together includes the right of each partner to pursue individual interests. I think it may take about five years for a young couple to discover that “we do everything together” is sentimentality not love. The most unnerving thing in love, I think, is the loss of emotional unity. When the emotional touch flickers out, trouble ensues, for love to thrive the two people in love have to be emotionally attached to each other: it always takes two to tango, that’s for a fact. Jimmy Evans had it right, ‘the only way two things can become one is when both things sacrifice’.

I learned from Laurie Lee, What Love Must Be: “We are indefatigable love-seekers all. Why, then, are we often defeated finding durable love more difficult to win than almost any other ambition? To be in Love of course is to take on the penthouse of living, that top most toppling tower, perpetually lit by the privileged radiance which sets one apart from nether world.
Love should be an act of will, of passionate patience—flexible, cunning, constant;proof against roasting and freezing, drought and flood, and the shifting climates of mood and age. Most of all it must be built on truth, not dream, the knowledge of what we are, rather than what we think it is fashion to be. The sum of love is that it should be a meeting place, an interlocking of nerves and senses, a series of constant surprises and renewals of each other’s moods—best of all, a steady building, from the inside-out, to extend its regions where children and live and breathe.
 
This seems a promising ground yet the fact remains that love fails more often than it succeeds—a failure due chiefly to the intolerable pressures of the age. Love needs to seed in a certain space and quiet—and even marriage requires some single-mindedness. Love still has intimations of immortality to offer us, if we are willing to pay it tribute. If we can learn to forget the old clich├ęs of jealousy and pride and not be afraid to stand guard, protect acquiesce, forgive and even serve. Love is not merely the indulgence of one’s personal taste buds; it is also delights in the indulgence of another’s”

Recently I did a review [as a privileged member of the Beta team for the raw manuscript] for the upcoming book from my selfless literal mentor, C.JoyBell C, the Conversation of Dragons. When I had just started reviewing the manuscript, I proclaimed it was and will be one of the most powerful books ever written. I was struggling to write something I really needed to write, this article, I must say it is part of why I have finally put word after another. You can find the review(s) on LinkedIn and also on the blogcatalog. Like I say [partly] in that review, “the book offers a sublime deep look into the perils of human frailty in ways only the Conversation of Dragons ever will. She doesn’t mince words; she induces the readers to looking beyond their ego and while at; it she encourages self-love. I learned that from the ‘thirteenth tenet’ and if I am to paint that picture more accurately: believe people when they show you who they are. It is not only fair to them; it also fair to you. When you become honest, healthy person, you can cultivate honest healthy relationships with others”—(Dragon unto Dragon, Creed unto Creed).

Where I am right now, I have discovered some very profound truths about humanity; I will not be selfish but rather share with my fellow human siblings: ‘No two human beings can possibly live in the most intimate emotional relationships without sometimes frustrating each other. Understanding is needed because where Love is blocked it turns to anger and hate. To think there are no things to be given up for each other is to suppose love costs nothing. Love is self-discovery and self-fulfillment through healthy growth with and for the other person. Real Love will grow as the years go by. The very experience of loving will lead to the discovery of how to love better. The only thing in the world as strong as love is truth, and there are reasons for believing that as far as marriage is concerned they are different aspects of the same thing. A deep and an abiding love is the emotional response to an intellectual recognition of the truth about another person. Love’s development, like that of a tree is not a steady progress but an irregular one. The art of Love is Patience till the spring returns. But what we have really loved one another can never be lost. Its influence on our personality is always with us, and perhaps even death doesn’t take it away.

That said, relationships are fucking hard. Every day is a new challenge but you find ways to get through them together, like Player 1 and player 2 in an endless runner video game. Obstacles never stop flying at you. Sometimes you get hit in the face and have to start again and other times you catapult off your partner’s back and smash that shit to pieces and are showered in gold coins and celebrate with high fives all around. Every day I am reminded how blessed I am to have Shane’s mother in my life. I have never known someone who could make me laugh so hard and yet cry so hard; I can’t help but burst into tears and in the next moment she can have my brain hurting with a question or fact that I have never considered but I am so desperate to get to the bottom of. I will be the first to admit. I’m overly emotional, stubborn, slightly addicted to social media, messy as hell and can surely put what I feel into words—I guess that’s part of my magic charm.
Every one of us knows in his heart that he could be a better person—more tolerant, more unselfish, more generous, and more kind. None of us ever fully lives up to his ideals, but the encouraging thing is this: improvement is always possible. Sometimes willpower can do it.Sometimes Prayer. Sometimes words on a page. “Our chief want in Life,” said Emerson, “is someone who will make us do what we can”. Veteran marriage counselor Emmanuel Hallowitz, assistant professor of psychiatry of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine once declared: “In almost every disrupted marriage there is, on both sides, self-deception.” On the other hand, the ability to look at yourself hard and honestly—admitting both the good and the bad—is the most powerful untapped source of human energy.

As you grow through life you realize manners are an important aspect of relationships— “Manners,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson, that champion nutshell-putter, “are the happy ways of doing things.” And he added that people are always watching your manners, and awarding or denying you prizes accordingly. Certainly good manners soften the hard edges of reality. They lie at the heart of that mysterious thing called charm. They can be oil on that troubled sea of matrimony. How to have them? Imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes. Then treat him as you would like to be treated—that’s all.

“Wisdom,” says the dictionary in a hopeful attempt to define the indefinable, “is the ability to judge soundly and deal sagaciously with facts, especially as they relate to life and conduct.” But everyone knows that wisdom is more than that. It is a kind of glow that lights a man’s world when he has experienced .It is the invisible plus sign that all of us would
like to have added to the sum of our lives. “Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom,” wrote Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Whatever you call it, it remains distant and difficult goal that most of us seek, all through the days of our lives. I thought of what I would have for my last article this year (2016), what I envisioned as a Year of Yes, and I came to something about Love—it has been a year of rugged paths but in the end I have seen myself through—the greatest men are usually the simplest, the most approachable and the most willing to share the insights that have made them what they are. Sometimes they were given by a wise teacher or an understanding parent. In any case, fortunate is the person who is privileged to catch a spark from one of the immortals—and pass it on. I, Grace Abaho (Sr), have been molded by both nurture and nature—thanks to you my dear literal Princess of a mentor, C.JoyBell C, for helping me have the confidence to radiate to others what I find. I love you, God richly bless you, forever indebted to you.

Thursday, 24 November 2016

THE GREAT WHAT IF: "MAY BE THERE IS A CATCH".


Hillary Clinton: Source

Not long ago, I wrote something, I said she was and still is temperamentally fit to be President of the United States. Clare Forlan agrees with me and as she wrote earlier, Clinton readily admits that campaigning doesn’t come easily for her. “I am not a natural politician, in case you haven’t noticed, like my husband or President Obama,” she said at a Democratic primary debate in March. At the debate on Monday, she framed the effort she has undertaken to run for president in a positive light. “I think Donald just criticized me for preparing for this debate, and yes, I did,” Clinton said, after Trump commented that he had “been all over the place” while she had “decided to stay home.” Clinton added: “You know what else I prepared for? I prepared to be president. And I think that’s a good thing.”

It may be very hard to take in but if there are chances to redeem the loss, maybe Hillary Clinton should buy the recount rhetoric, if doesn’t give the anticipated results though, there is a problem: “The second and more serious objection is that frivolous recount requests could compromise public faith in the election results. Throughout the campaign, Hillary Clinton stressed the importance of accepting the results of the election. Skeptics worry that if Clinton were to request recounts without any tangible evidence that the original count was wrong, it could legitimize conspiracy theories and ultimately undermine confidence in the election result — and the democratic process more generally.”
 
Maybe there is a catch, there were some irregularities. I may be wrong that she won the election but my skepticism keeps getting a new reason to grow. She is leading by a sizeable margin of the popular vote and there is this: “Clinton needed to win all three states for an election victory. Wisconsin and Pennsylvania went for Donald Trump by the smallest margins of all the states that he won. The race in Michigan hasn’t been certified, but the state is likely to go to Trump. A Clinton win in all three states would give her enough Electoral College votes to claim the presidency. The activists, who have not spoken publicly about their findings, presented their evidence to Clinton’s campaign team last week. An aide to Clinton told HuffPost the campaign is “not saying anything yet.”

Some data scientists and political statisticians, including FiveThirtyEight’s Nate Silver and The New York Times’ Nate Cohn, cast doubt on the claims, which compared voting in counties that used paper ballots with those that used electronic machines. Silver and Cohn said the suspicious results disappear when controlling for demographic factors like race and education.”

If this is done and the results match the ones we have, If it is not done and America stays stuck with the option of giving Donald Trump a chance, there is one thing to remember: “She has been a pioneer throughout her life, and yet her career cannot be easily reduced to one transcendent myth: she has been an idealist and a liberal incrementalist, a glass-ceiling-smashing lawyer and a cautious establishmentarian, a wife and mother, a First Lady, a rough-and-tumble political operator, a senator, a Secretary of State. Her story is about walking through flames and emerging changed, warier and more determined. In her intelligence, in her gimlet-eyed recognition of both the limits and the possibilities of government, she’s a particular kind of inspirational figure, a pragmatist and a Democratic moderate.”. For People like me that envisioned the tsunami of misogyny with Hillary’s presidency, we have one option left, to be forever indebted to her :she has earned it and we know for sure we are always Stronger together. In Martin Luther King’s words, I will draw the curtain: “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice”.


Monday, 21 November 2016

BETWEEN THE WORLD AND ME

Photo source: Taken off the web
I have come to accept the feelings of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it.Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you are going, but know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you”.
I often look back at all the bickering and yammering I have been through: the background noise from people who think and thought I am just a ‘little man’ grasping at straws, I sit back and take a good laugh and cry to God to make a way for me, It’s been tough but I have never for once considered giving in to people’s whims—that’s not who I am, especially when I know I am doing right; looking for people’s approval would be the last thing I need. In life, you have to come to terms with the world and accept the world is full of mean-spirited people: that may never applaud your hard work no matter how hard you try, the best thing to do therefore, just do your thing—your life is yours alone to shape, throwing it in someone else’s hands is the last thing anyone should do, my report card from the university of life has taught me that already.
The truth is, there is nobody who will ever notice you if you don’t notice yourself—your story and who you are and want to be in this cruel world begins with the zeal and determination to do good, not for just the rewards but for the right cause [I learned that from Dr.King’s Drum Major instinct]: I cannot lay claim that I am perfect in this area but I am trying. Yes, I have failed several times to make it but I have never considered giving up as an option, especially on something I care about, in earnest; I don’t construct witty digs on a subject I don’t care about—I learned from J.K.Rowling [another literal mentor of mine] very important lessons, as I wrote earlier and for purposes of this article, this: “why do I talk about failure? Simply because it means the stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and I began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me”.
In there,i was talking about this: "So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.
Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned."
Onward: "
And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.
What is more, those who choose not to empathise enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.
One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality."


Wednesday, 16 November 2016

OBAMA LEGACY: "THE AUDACITY OF HOPE LIVES ON"

President Obama in a very important meeting:Source
Let's kick off with the Obama Doctrine: "In White House meetings that crucial week in August, Biden, who ordinarily shared Obama’s worries about American overreach, argued passionately that “big nations don’t bluff.” America’s closest allies in Europe and across the Middle East believed Obama was threatening military action, and his own advisers did as well. At a joint press conference with Obama at the White House the previous May, David Cameron, the British prime minister, had said, “Syria’s history is being written in the blood of her people, and it is happening on our watch.” Cameron’s statement, one of his advisers told me, was meant to encourage Obama toward more-decisive action. “The prime minister was certainly under the impression that the president would enforce the red line,” the adviser told me. The Saudi ambassador in Washington at the time, Adel al-Jubeir, told friends, and his superiors in Riyadh, that the president was finally ready to strike. Obama “figured out how important this is,” Jubeir, who is now the Saudi foreign minister, told one interlocutor. “He will definitely strike.”



President Obama speaking in Athens:Source,;Politico.

POLITICO: ATHENS — that’s the trouble with democracy, President Barack Obama said here Wednesday: Sometimes Donald Trump wins.
But that’s also the good thing about democracy, Obama insisted: Trump won’t win in the end.
Summoning the founding ideals of democracy here in the Greek capital — he’d just returned from a tour of the Acropolis — Obama’s final major speech on the world stage as president tried to connect history to the future, a zigzagging line he said should prevail, despite the threat he suggested it’s now facing at home and in Europe.

The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice, he said, using his favorite Martin Luther King Jr. quote. But the arc of the moral universe hit a snag.
“This impulse to pull back from a global world is understandable. If people feel they are losing control of their future, they will push back,” Obama said.

But the answer, Obama argued, is less make America great again than make America — and the rest of the world — greater than they ever were: “We can’t look backwards for answers, we have to look forward.”
It was yet another public, nudging civics lessons for his successor, whom he repeatedly slammed during the campaign as unprepared and ignorant, a threat to the republic. A defense of his presidency on everything from Obamacare to tax policy to opening relations with Cuba that’s rising from a whisper each day. A careful distancing of himself from the president-elect, despite his continuing public and private efforts to make the transition a success.
“As you may have noticed, the next American president and I could not be more different,” Obama said. “We have very different points of view, but American democracy is bigger than any one person.”

Basically, I just wanted to have this for the future,Omid couldn’t have put it better:
It has taken me a while to sit with the trauma of the election, and find words of hope and inspiration. The truth of the matter is that those words are slow in coming, and may not be coming for a while. The concern for my own babies and other people’s babies is great, great, and tinged with real pain and trauma. But as Brother Martin told us a long time ago,

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

What does it mean to speak of hope, infinite hope, when we have a president-elect who was endorsed by the KKK?
What does it mean to speak of hope for a better America when we have gone from the real prospect of electing the first female president in American history to electing a man who brags about being able to “grab’em by the pussy. You can do anything,” and has more than a dozen women suing him for sexual harassment?

If we love each other, we tell each other the truth. And the truth of the matter is that many of us are in incredible pain right now. Pain tinged with dreams, and legitimate fear. That fear is not equally distributed across America. That fear is concentrated among Muslims, Hispanics, African Americans, poor folks, women, gay/lesbian/trans folks, Jews, disabled folks, undocumented people…
To have heard, to literally have courage (remember that the root of the word “courage” comes from the old Latin word for heart, cor), does not mean that we are somehow immune to fear and trepidation. No, it means that we hug our babies even when our limbs are frozen in this trauma, our very souls are trembling with fear, and our hearts heavy. And that is where many of us are today.
Don’t tell me “it’s going to be OK” if you have not had to look into my frightened children’s eyes. Make it OK, work with us in making it OK, and then tell me that it is OK.

This is not the time for bravado and pretending to be unafraid. Yes, the truth of the matter is that we are afraid, and many of us are afraid for those who are more vulnerable in our midst, and for our babies. What marks us as human is not so much whether we are or are not afraid, but rather whether we allow fear to have the last word. Can we rise up, stand up, and act out of love even when fear is real and present? Can we seek hope and love, and bring them to public spaces until we call it justice?
Yes, STRONGER TOGETHER.God bless you President Obama,Michelle and the girls.God bless Hillary Clinton and her beautiful family.God bless everyone who believes that we are always Stronger Together,.


Friday, 11 November 2016

QUICK PSA: STRONGER TOGETHER WON POPULAR VOTE.


Grace ABAHO Sr:   FOUNDER TEAM HILLARY UGANDA

The hypocrisy with Donald Trump sympathizers quoting the bible is staggering and pitch 8 BS. If you're conservative, don’t be a liberal, be the tadpole that ain't no Frog. If you want us to really read the bible, let’s READ it from Genesis to Revelations, otherwise you're just sure fire bible thumpers: SIMPLY PUT, FIRST CLASS Hypocrites. No matter how much anyone tries to normalize it that America made the right choice by electing an outright bigot, Donald Trump, it will never be normal. It is not normal but only if we agree to this—History takes three shapes—forward, sideways and backward. He has had a campaign built on outright lies and that is the foundation of all there is I will be using for all the years he may have in the white house, as foundation of my criticism, I am forever indebted to Hillary Clinton because I know we are always Stronger Together.

It is important to note with concern that Dr.King had right when he said that “people should be judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin”. I am still working on a full article but while I do that, I am going to be sharing snippets of it.Meanwhile, here are powerful reminders from Hillary’s concession speech: “Our campaign was never about one person, or even one election. It was about the country we love and building an America that is hopeful, inclusive, and big-hearted. We have seen that our nation is more deeply divided than we thought. But I still believe in America, and I always will. And if you do, then we must accept this result and then look to the future. Donald Trump is going to be our president. We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead. Our constitutional democracy enshrines the peaceful transfer of power”.

And finally President Obama’s words on Hillary’s loss: “I could not be prouder for her,” Obama said of Clinton. “Her candidacy and nomination was historic, and sent a message to our daughters all across the country that they can achieve at the highest levels of politics.”

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

FOREVER INDEBTED TO YOU, HILLARY CLINTON.

My heroine Hillary RODHAM CLINTON.Source: web
Dear Hillary Clinton,
Thank you for running the best race ever.I have supported you and always will.Yes you are my heroine .I thank everyone who has supported you;especially my friends Owen and Peri,and so many all over the world.I have a few words for everyone who believes we are STRONGER TOGETHER:“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.” .

 Finally your own words could help both of us:
"It is often when night looks darkest, it is often before the fever breaks that one senses the gathering momentum for change, when one feels that resurrection of hope in the midst of despair and apathy".Till the complete article is done,God be with you.
It is often when night looks darkest, it is often before the fever breaks that one senses the gathering momentum for change, when one feels that resurrection of hope in the midst of despair and apathy. Hillary Clinton
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458765.html
It is often when night looks darkest, it is often before the fever breaks that one senses the gathering momentum for change, when one feels that resurrection of hope in the midst of despair and apathy. Hillary Clinton
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458765.html
It is often when night looks darkest, it is often before the fever breaks that one senses the gathering momentum for change, when one feels that resurrection of hope in the midst of despair and apathy. Hillary Clinton
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458765.html
It is often when night looks darkest, it is often before the fever breaks that one senses the gathering momentum for change, when one feels that resurrection of hope in the midst of despair and apathy. Hillary Clinton
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458765.html
It is often when night looks darkest, it is often before the fever breaks that one senses the gathering momentum for change, when one feels that resurrection of hope in the midst of despair and apathy. Hillary Clinton
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458765.html
It is often when night looks darkest, it is often before the fever breaks that one senses the gathering momentum for change, when one feels that resurrection of hope in the midst of despair and apathy. Hillary Clinton
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458765.html